There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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