Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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