thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
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at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize