I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize