i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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