In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize