Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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