this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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