from now on my penis is your penis
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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