where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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