Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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