Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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