I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize