i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize