Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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