but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
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you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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