I think I am morally bankrupt
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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