my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
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