I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
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Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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