Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize