I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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