Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just had sex bonerless
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize