yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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