when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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