I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize