dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize