the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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