i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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