The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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