my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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