I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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