I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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