yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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