dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize