dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Blood and glitter go together right?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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