When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize