Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize