This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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