I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize