She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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