seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize