I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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