He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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