you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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