Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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