So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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