i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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