made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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