im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize