I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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