Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize