Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize